My Daddy Calls it "Stinkin' Thinkin'"

I received an email this morning from someone very close to me who has been struggling with some physical issues... nothing critical or life threatening (which testing has confirmed), but the issues are limiting; some of which, with the passing of NO judgement, are repercussions of some life choices, adding to the emotional drain.  I have their permission to share portions of my response to their email.  I am sharing it here because, in usual Jesus-to-Steffanie fashion, He taught and encouraged me as I wrote. And I pray He may show you something of Himself in it as well.

*Note* I will use {........} for information that I have intentionally omitted from the original email or for the sake of clarity.

{Beloved},

Sometimes I can go weeks without checking my email so I'm glad I checked it this morning.  I don't understand what God is doing or choosing not to do, but this I know: He loves us and His heart is toward us.  He is good- NO MATTER WHAT.  I shared with {friend} about my struggle with "hope" and the raw pain of genuine hope... she gave me a much better perspective. It's "trust" that I need; more than even hope.  I need to trust Jesus no matter the outcome or circumstances.  Conversely, "hope" can become about a specific result or change.  I can trust Him because I know His incredible character... where sometimes hope (as we often understand it) may lead to despair, without HIM as the focus.

May I lovingly admonish you?  Change your mind...   This battle may not be as much about what is going on in your body so much as what is attacking your mind.  What if rather than seeing all that you need/should do (possible religious spirit), you begin to focus on what you CAN and GET to do!  You CAN love Jesus.  You GET to trust Him. You GET to spend more time with Jesus, growing in Him, being transformed by Him, preparing with greater focus on the things He wants to reveal to you to share with others... While painful, you CAN walk.  You CAN sing.  You CAN get to where you need to go.   Let me re-phrase a scripture in hopes that it is not blasphemous... You CAN'T do anything without the strength of Jesus Christ.  When you have the thoughts of "I can't", I propose, that you would be right.  But the strength and power of CHRIST IS IN you!  And He says you CAN! When you can't, it's probable that you are striving to function within your own strength (I am not exactly sure what this looks like or how it works... right now , I just know it is the truth and Jesus can work out the "how" that gets walked out). 

{Beloved}, I love you. You have been and are a blessing to me... {.................}  I am saying these things because of love. You have been very straight with me {.....}... so I am returning the favor (truly).  I want you WHOLE.  And so does Jesus.  I hurt for you.  Change your mind... change your focus.  Let Him raise you up from the pit... In order for Him to do this you must believe He wants to and will!  You are NOT being punished... Are there consequences for our choices? Without a doubt. BUT God desires and WILL still save, deliver, and free us from ourselves... He does it for me every day, when I LET Him. 

{Beloved}, you know this, but I going to say it anyway THERE IS NO CONDEMNATION IN CHRIST JESUS.  If you are feeling shame, guilt, condemnation- it is NOT Jesus!  Have a JESUS filled day  {which Beloved says often}... then you CAN do ALL things, yes even those things that you have been deceived into believing you could never do for {your lifetime}.  (You do know I am preaching to myself right now right?!)  YOU ARE NOT DEFEATED.  {....God revealed significance in Beloved's given name....}

There is this incredibly wise person of God that has often referred me, and countless others, to a passage in Philippians... chapter 4 verse 8.  You should check it out.  It may just change your life. {This is one of the most quoted scriptures by Beloved!}  It's interesting how the Lord gives us very specific life verses.  My primary life verse has been Proverbs 3:5-6. As one who is pretty "teacher motivated" {spiritual gift}, I have discovered and appreciate the apparent significance that "I" chose  that verse; consequently,  many of my life's lessons have been directed at  learning how to NOT lean on my OWN understanding (or desiring others to “lean” on mine either) but to acknowledge HIM and THEN my path levels out...  Is it possible that one that walks in a gifting of mercy would need the constant reminder about where to focus her thoughts so that her emotions would line up with truth? And let's throw in the tendency of the prophecy to see the "wrongness" of their choices and that wrongness becoming a potential focal point (and WIDE open door for condemnation) instead of the river of grace to which Jesus is calling you.

I usually like to use the NKJV, but for the purpose of this "discussion" (and the satisfaction of my "exhorter" gifting) look at how The Message translates: "Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies." 

What is true?  Really? That in Christ, you can't?  Or that you CAN? What is the BEST? What are things to PRAISE not CURSE?  (Will you praise that you CAN walk, not CURSE the cane...) What is beautiful, not ugly? (That you set an example of pursuing Jesus and ALL of your children and grandchildren do too- do you really want to focus on those things that you think are destroying your quality of life, OR on those things that have been beautifully created through you and your faithfulness to the only One who can change any of it anyway?)

May I now be incredibly bold? (gulp) Stop thinking about yourself... and all that you are and are not.

Please know my heart.  I am NOT trying to trivialize the physical issues... they are real. But you teach the truth and I am now compelled to remind you of it.  What are the verses that precede Phil 4:8? 6 ""Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." 

I know you want to stop hurting... I KNOW how that feels.  But my sense is that you are not walking in a place of peace, especially in your emotions.  He does not tell me to be anxious for nothing and then not tell me how to accomplish that.  He sets me up to succeed!  He gives me the "how".  And when I apply the "how", He gives me a promise: peace.  Not just ANY peace, but a militant (that is the original understanding) guarding of my heart AND mind. I am finding (slow learner here) that He does not allow me to have a problem without the provision of a promise.

While under different circumstances, I think sometimes you and I can "feel" like we are dying...maybe we are. If our focus remains on earthly things: circumstances, pain, limitations, self (sigh), then Truth says we are missing out on life and peace. "For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace." (Romans 8:6) Let's work together at focusing on being spiritually minded. Let's CHOOSE life and peace.  Let's "set our minds on things above" as Colossians says.

I love you beyond words.... I shudder to think of the chasm that would exist should my life be absent of you.

My heart aches for you... I will be talking with our Father about you often...

I pray that you hear my heart. But above all, that Holy Spirit reveals His heart through any of my meaningless words and that He would do so exponentially and with haste.

xoxoxo,

{Steffanie}