I will not be here long... it's late and I should be sleeping, but once again I find my mind with the inability to shut itself off. I need advice... I cannot seem to "will" myself to do anything. I don't know if I have fallen into some kind of depression, but I just feel paralyzed- occupationally, in my household, emotionally, even spiritually. I don't want or need "pat" answers. I need help... my hand being taken and walked through (with patience, boldness, acceptance and grace) whatever I need to do. I have been on a waiting list since April to see a counselor but she has still had no openings. I do not want to go to anyone else because I have some pretty real trust issues.
I have an INCREDIBLE family, but I feel SO alone... I want someone to walk WITH me through this- whatever "this" is. I have had a terrible day of missing past friendships... scary bad actually. I cannot (nor for others) afford to make emotional choices. I have had people advise me to use "diversion" tactics, but those do not heal the heart.
So what do I do? Work harder? Be still more? Love less? Love more? Pray harder? Run away? Not with "right/ religious" answers, but help me friend... anyone?
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