Re-Run

I find myself sitting at the computer much later than I should be but I am enjoying the quiet and solitude. I was catching up on email and decided to check out some unread comments on my blog. I haven't been here in awhile...for reasons into which I will not go.

I think this is one of my new mantra's: "Life sucks but God is good.". I know, it isn't much of an exhortation and is crass, but it's where I am right now. If I could sit down and write a truly good "new" post I would write the While I'm Waiting post again...you know how you can watch re-runs of your favorite Little House or Cosby Show episode over and over(oops, I am showing my age) that's what is like to go back to that post. I may be in this waiting place for awhile longer...I pray not. But if you are looking to be encouraged don't keep reading this post, go back and read that one (or a Broken Hallelujah).

I wonder if the Apostle Paul ever did that. I wonder if he ever found himself in such a pit that he had to go back and read what he had already written (don't get your undies in a bunch - I am not comparing myself or my writing to that of the inspired Word of God) I just know he was human.

I am so thankful for the "good" days...the days filled with faith, hope, perseverance and strength. I am thankful because the "bad" ones can be really bad. I have had some of these lately. These are the days where all is tested...where you are actually making conscience decisions to take in air...where every ounce of energy is being used just to hold your head in an upright postion. Will I hold on one more day? Can I bear anymore? There sits before me the contending of hope and heartache, the clashing of perseverance and pain, and ultimately the collision of faith and fear... Yet, when I choose to let go, when my choice is to trust Him, in the sweetness of surrender He takes my hand and leads me besides still waters, He makes me to lie down in the greenest of pastures and He restores my soul...I shall not want anything but more of Him.

I will worship while I'm waiting...