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I'm just done...
With everything...
I want to go home...

Just As I Am

I so wish I had some profound words to post here tonight... but I have nothing.  I have nothing but brokenness... broken in every possible way.  I am beginning to wonder if that is all for I which I was created... to be profoundly and continually broken.  I know all the right "christian" answers, but that is all that is to me right now is "christianese".  I LOVE Jesus, and He loves me... that's all I know tonight and I pray that is enough. 


This is one of my favorite hymns.  It has been coming to my mind all evening and it is my spirit's cry that is at war with my flesh:

I'd rather have Jesus than silver or gold;
I'd rather be His than have riches untold:
I'd rather have Jesus than houses or lands.
I'd rather be led by His nail-pierced hand

Than to be the king of a vast domain

Or be held in sin's dread sway.
I'd rather have Jesus than anything
This world affords today.

I'd rather have Jesus than men's applause;
I rather be faithful to His dear cause;
I'd rather have Jesus than worldwide fame.
I'd rather be true to His holy name.

He's fairer than lilies of rarest bloom;
He's sweeter than honey from out the comb;

He's all than my hungering spirit needs.
I'd rather have Jesus and let Him lead

Than to be the king of a vast domain
Or be held in sin's dread sway.
I'd rather have Jesus than anything
This world affords today.

I pray that my heart allows this longing of my spirit to override it's selfish and sinful desires.

For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. Philippians 1:21

My Jesus... I love Thee.